Insanity is when you keep doing the same things

expecting different results.

It was more or less the natural progression of an already awkward circumstance.  I would never have expected anything less.  Now?  Well, thank god the school year is almost over.  Let's try our best to avoid any repeat performances.  Let's try our best to ignore that this ever happened.  Thank goodness for Bloomington's diverse and numbered dining scene.  But, hey... at least we're ending a streak.  And after a year and a half?  Well, it was bound to happen eventually.

OMFG

It's November 2007

Everything worth it hurts a little bit

You don't wanna run away, and I won't let you anyway.

I wish it were warmer already.  I don't have enough to do.  It's been too cold for the dog park, though we went today for a bit.  It's hard for me to stay motivated when I'm at home all day.  It's not about being at work.  Lord knows I'd rather not.  I'd like it to be nice enough for Darby and I to go on long walks, hang out at the dog park, be outside for long periods of time, etc.  I know that it will be worth it.  I guess I just have to work on my dedication?  I have too much time to think.  I need less time for thinking and more time for doing.  It's supposed to get warm soon.  I, of course, will be working during the day the first few days of warmth.  Monday, of course, it will be dropping back into the 50's.  What a life.

Oh yeah the grass is green

But can you tell me, can you feel it?

I wanna feel it.  Just had to strengthen my resolve.  The cycle has begun.  And now there's no stopping it till it's run its course.  I feel more determined than I have in a while.  Getting my life back on track?  At least getting it to a place where I can feel happy and accomplished.  The thing about me is that I can't leave things open-ended.  I've never been able to.  It's a character flaw maybe.  I have to have closure.  Everything needs a definitive beginning, middle, and end.  It's why I was always so good at essay writing.  Introduction, Defense 1, Defense 2, Defense 3, Summary.  There's no room for interpretation.  It is what it is.  I'm defining schedules for myself.  I'm not allowing myself to deviate from them.  Set goals and attain them.  Do or do not (there is no try).

Game.

Set.

Match.

Say you wanna get in

And then you wanna get out

You have to want it enough.  I think I finally want it enough.  Just like last time.  I'll do it for a purpose.  One month.  Maybe two.  That's all it should take.  You have to spend money to make money.  You just have to keep the discipline.  I've got the money to buy myself a castle.  Might not wear my leisure... but I'll try not to waste it.  Esoteric much?  It's time for sleep if I'm going to wake up committed.  In it to win it.  Just gotta get the courage to win.

Happy is what happens

Sometimes I have trouble breathing.  So giddy with joy am I.  I've never been so excited to go anywhere.  I can't wait to feel cobblestone under my feet.  I can't wait to hear the click clack of cars driving over metal plates on the road.  I can't wait for screen-less windows and shutters... for Thanksgiving at the beach.  Everything I wanted.  September can't come soon enough.  I'm a changed person going back this time.  And I intend to make the most of it.  Good luck dragging me home again.  I'm well aware of where I belong.